A Masterclass in Diplomatic Gymnastics

Oh, what a masterclass in diplomacy we’re witnessing! Lula, in his infinite wisdom, decides to skip the BRICS summit because, really, who wouldn’t want to avoid the awkwardness of sitting next to Vladimir “Cold War Leftover” Putin? What’s more fun than playing pretend with a washed-up KGB agent?

Vučić: Serbia’s Putin Fanboy

But enter Aleksandar Vučić, Serbia’s resident Putin fanboy, who, in a truly brave display of leadership, heroically decides not to show up himself but sends four of his lackeys instead. Because, hey, facing your puppet master in person is so last season. Naturally, Vučić claims to have been “straightforward” with Putin, which, in Vučić code, means he probably groveled just enough to keep the Kremlin happy while plotting his next escape route.

The Price of Isolation

And, of course, Vučić, ever so modest, reminds everyone that Serbia is still the proudest Putin sycophant left in Europe. Because, you know, international isolation is all the rage these days. Serbia’s strategy? Hitching its future to a regime sinking faster than a stone, but with the delusion that it’s somehow winning a moral high ground. Bravo, Vučić, bravo.

Putin’s Media Fantasy

Meanwhile, Russian media continues its fantasy that Putin is still the world’s favorite global leader, and that sanctions are secretly boosting their economy. Spoiler alert: they’re not. But hey, China and India are happy to exploit Russia’s desperation while pretending this alliance is mutually beneficial. What’s not to love about cheap, desperation-fueled resources?

Saudi Arabia and Brazil: The Smart Players

As for Saudi Arabia and Brazil? Oh, they’re far too clever to get involved unless there’s a pot of gold waiting for them. Putin’s bag of tricks, however, is running on fumes. But don’t worry, Vučić is probably available to give him a masterclass on how to make empty promises and dodge consequences—after all, he’s been practicing for years.

Kremlin’s Internal Drama

And as for the Kremlin? Well, they’re apparently panicking over whether Putin’s body double is convincing enough to fool world leaders. Let’s not even start on the internal drama, where they’re playing political musical chairs, with Sergei Shoigu potentially getting thrown under the bus to settle some petty disputes. Ah, Russian leadership: chaos, deception, and betrayal—just another day at the office!